*tweak*

A couple tweaks to the ol' blog... namely..

Tweak #1) I finally figured out the hack to make expandable post summaries! So now, when I write a super-long rant or ramble (like the 500 word epic that was the last post), I don't have to subject you all to the whole thing on the main page. Skim the intro, see if it's interesting, and the whole entry is just one click of away. Awesome! I feel so l337 h4x0r now... thanks to Beta Blogger for Dummies (Hint to Blogger users: it's a great resource. I recommend if you want to tweak or hack your blog but don't really know how to go about it.) Unfortunately, every post has a "read on..." link at the end whether I cut it or not, but what are ya gonna do?

Tweak #2) I have a guestbook. Even spent the last half hour tweaking the colors to make it match. (HTML editing... no better way to spend a Saturday night, eh?) If you are reading this now, you should go sign it. It would make me and my blog feel very special. :)

That is all. Carry on. Off to a few overdue rounds of DDR...

Writing Lights

When it comes to blogging, a lot of times I question the point of it all. Perhaps that explains why I've started and deleted so many of them.

The favorite "expert" advice for aspiring bloggers is to have a point. Find your niche. Keep it focused. Write something that will be relevant and useful for people. Reviews, links to news... factual, utilitarian. If you blog about your life and your opinions and what you did today, nobody will want to read it except your mom and maybe a few other relatives. Save that nonsense for your journal, because nobody really cares about that stuff anyway, right?

So I've wrestled with the notion of it all... because what could possibly be more self-indulgent than throwing my thoughts on life out into cyberspace, hoping someone will read them? Who am I to think anything I have to say could be remotely interesting? Then I retreat to my writing corner with my laptop and stare at the blank text field, wanting to write something -- anything -- worthwhile, but hearing the nagging little whisper in the critical corner of my mind: "Who cares?"

I've thought about all of that... and recently I found another blogger that mused on the very same point. Who came up with this concept, and what possibly made it seem like a good idea? Valid questions... and I thought her conclusion was right on:

"But there is a piece of me that completely gets why we are all so drawn to blogging. Deep inside each of us is a desire to be known by someone. We want to be able to share those thoughts and feelings inside of our heads. We want to get it out and let others see us—even if we do it anonymously. Because somehow, knowing that someone is reading our thoughts and feelings helps us to feel as if someone might actually care about us."

Of course! Suddenly I realize that my favorite blogs are just like that. The ones I return to over and over aren't the ones that give me useful, factual information. They are the ones that give me the glimpse into another person's life... sometimes people I know; often people I've never met. They're excerpts of longer tales, snapshots of life.

I love stories. I love listening to people talk about their past experiences and future dreams and the strange and beautiful things that happen in life. The art of storytelling is ageless because we are always learning from them, resonating with them, recognizing ourselves in them... knowing through them that we are never ever alone in this messy world.

My fascination with blogging brings me full circle. Because while I stress about the self-indulgence of it all and consider giving it up and just reading what other people have to say, I realize if everyone felt this way, no one would say anything. And the stories would go untold, and I would be missing out on their insights.

So here I go again, trying to sift through my ramblings and throw them out there, hoping my story might resonate with someone too. Hoping it might help someone, even if just a little bit, even if by just being a small, flickering light on an otherwise dark and lonely road.

It's why I want to write. It's why any of us dare to write in the first place...

Day by Day

"You must once and for all give up being worried about successes and failures. Don't let that concern you. It's your duty to go on working steadily day by day, quite quietly, to be prepared for mistakes, which are inevitable, and for failures." ~ Anton Chekhov

Dude.

I wish I were here right now.

Not for Assemblage 23 (though the one song on my iPod is really awesome)... but for the openers. Leiahdorus and The Echoing Green? So not fair. I hope Tulsa is having fun.

At least I finally have some new EG to look forward to... okay, so it's mostly remixes, but I'm curious to hear the remix contest winners, and it'll be nice to actually own "Flame" and be able to play it in my car/on my iPod. Joy! (Yeah yeah, I'm an electronica dork. :))

"It might feel like another night in Florida..."

Never mind the humidity, exotic spiders, and horrible traffic... it's good to be here.

Had a very busy weekend, with visiting family and a birthday party for my Grandma. She'll be 87 on Wednesday. Wow. How time does fly.

It was good to see everyone, but after all the decorations came down, those of us still hanging around took a little walk on the nature trail at the park. (let me tell you, it is not the trail for arachnophobes. I think I saw a dozen weird fat spiders in the trees, and maybe 5 or 6 of these lovely fellows. Creepy.) I thought I'd try my hand at a few more artistic shots of the sunset on Little Lake Harris... so pretty.


Funny how so many people take years saving up only to spend it for just a week or two in a place I call home every day... to see things right at my backdoor. We take so much for granted.

There is more to life than deadlines and errands and running and doing. Stop. Slow down. And take time to be. I have to tell myself that quite a bit these days...

"When I am constantly running there is no time for being. When there is no time for being there is no time for listening." ~ Madeleine L'Engle

Another year...

I survived Night of Joy. Again. My sleep schedule is so out of whack. I feel like it should be about 8pm now... not 11.

That's all I really have to say about that. Still a bit sore and tired... still have yet to ride Space Mountain even though I've been going to Disney World since I was about two... but a good weekend was still had by all.

Oh, and Red's show was pretty stinkin' awesome. Almost made up for sitting outside the shrubbery missing Flyleaf... almost. :(

Would say pictures maybe later... but all I really got were random shots of the folks that came to visit the YHot stage where I was stationed and some blurry pics from Red's show. Ah, well.

OMGLOL! I broke the Internet! :D

MySpace is easily one of the most fascinating and infuriating corners of cyberspace.

Seriously, it shouldn't take so long to add a simple last.fm chart to my profile. Yet somehow it's the only site that refuses to load tonight. (I know, I know... sheer number of people on the site and all that.)

It takes less time to post a mini-rant about it here. :)

Stuff you should be listening to.

Or: Shameless Music Pluggin' Joy.
I'm in CD reviewing sorta mood. Presenting the soundtrack of my past week...

Robbie Seay Band - Give Yourself Away

Memorize this cover. Then go find a copy and have a listen. It is so good.

I don't generally listen to a lot of the worship genre outside work, but since Relevant Magazine had the free download offer going the week before it released, and I already knew I liked the new single "Song of Hope," there was no reason not to give RSB a try. And it's really really good stuff.

I don't know for sure because I don't have liner notes, but I'm guessing these are all original songs, with the exception of a nice cover of The Choir's "Beautiful Scandalous Night." (And originality's definitely a bonus for me when it comes to worship music.) But this is a wonderful, uplifting album; "Song of Hope" could probably describe just about every track. "New Day" is my new favorite song right now.

Great stuff. I'm impressed. I hear it's only $7.99 at iTunes now, so check it out! And of course: RSB on MySpace to hear a few songs. Though sadly, "New Day" isn't one of them. :(


Imogen Heap - Speak for Yourself

So it's been out for a while. But I finally went ahead and bought it, after nearly wearing out the random singles I got from iTunes. She barely left my CD player for days.

Probably what impresses me most about Imogen Heap isn't just that her music is creative and different from the norm, but that she's a rare talent in music today. She's a songwriter with a lovely voice and a multi-instrumentalist, and also has the producing/engineering skills that allowed her to create this album almost entirely herself. (And it sounds great too!) So while my tech-minded audio dork side can enjoy all the creative sounds Speak for Yourself has to offer, the inner artist can appreciate how they tie together with well-written, emotional lyrics to create some overall beautiful music. Personal favorites would be "Headlock," "Have You Got it in You?," "Clear the Area," and the vocoder-laden, vocal only "Hide and Seek." Also really good music I'll probably be listening to for a while. Have a listen: MySpace

***

So while on the subject.. to those reading, what has been your soundtrack lately? It's all in the name of new discoveries, so any fellow shameless music pluggin' joy is welcome. :)

wrung & broken

“Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket–safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” ~ C. S. Lewis

I love C.S. Lewis. Somehow he was one of the few writers that could take hard truth and make it real and meaningful to me...

I came across this quote in a friend's blog last week*, and though I'm sure I'd read it before, it stood out to me. It is particularly meaningful and comforting these days. It is a lesson I have been learning for some time... I suppose one that God has been slowly and steadily working into me, whether I like it or not...

That love and pain are inextricably linked. That they don't just coexist, but that -- in this world at least -- they can't be separated. They are a part of a greater, mysterious, strange and beautiful dance, and the tension between the two is the heart and soul of where life itself is.

Sometimes it's tempting to shut the doors, draw the curtains, and try our best to fend off the darkness with our frail, artificial lights. But that's not the way we were created to live.

We were made from love. We were made to love. And, perhaps, to some extent, we were made for pain as well.

But thank God, it's worth it in the end.


Another writer I admire put this truth in a slightly different, briefer, but no less truthful way:

"To live and to love
Will always be dangerous
But it's better than playing it safe.." ~ Kendall Payne, "Ups and Downs"


*Thanks, Ray. It's that good... I'm stealing and re-posting it. That's what blogging's about.